Up in the Air

I think one of the cheesiest and most cliche quotes is all too applicable at the present time:

Life is what happens when you're busy making other plans. 

As a blogger who shares a lot about my life, it can be challenging to know the best way to share the most unhappy and unfortunate aspects, especially when they are not directly about me. I've been procrastinating this post similarly to the way I've been denying its reality. At any rate, here's the situation:

Basically ever since Gerry got his good news, his father has been in the hospital. He went in for some major surgery, but was expected to be out in a week. His post-surgery recovery, however, has been a mess.   I want to respect his family's privacy and not get into the details. I'll just say things are serious, and it has become clear that we cannot move across the country at the moment as scheduled. Gerry needs to be with his family right now. Family comes first.

While many things about the present situation are stressful and frustrating, I feel really grateful. We spent most of the month optimistic that everything would work out according to plan, but Gerry made the call Saturday night to pull the plug on our move date. Since then I've been overwhelmed by the support our friends and family have given us. We had a Going Away Party on Sunday and I couldn't believe how many supportive words, hugs, gifts and advice we were given. My mom's high school girlfriends made us the sweetest road trip care package, which Gerry described as "heartwarming," and that's exactly what it is. Because I know so many people are routing for us and wanting us to succeed, I know we will get there, even if things aren't going exactly as planned.

the only picture of us from the party. totally forgot to keep up w/ documenting & take OOTDS

I'm also grateful that Gerry's job is being so understanding and compassionate about when we can get to Oregon. There's just no way to know what is going to happen or when, so I'm really relieved he has found a company willing to put faith in him and support him. I'm also thankful my job is letting me continue to work without knowing how long I'll be around. I need to be working if we're still here. Every dollar helps!

I don't believe in prayer because I don't know if there is a God. It's not because I was not raised to pray, I was, but over time the ritual seemed too methodical. It lost its meaning, and I lost my faith.  It was a loss never mourned. However, over the past few years I've developed a habit of talking to the universe. I prefer to be outside, I prefer it to be nighttime, and I prefer when I can see the moon and stars. I find comfort in what I can see, and what I know. But I also believe in karma and I believe the universe can return the good vibes you put out there. I've been spending time talking to the universe and trying to keep a positive attitude.

Despite having a lot of uncertainties, questions and worries, I do ultimately know:

• I am insanely in love with my partner
• Moving to Portland is our shared dream
• Although the timing is up in the air, we'll get there.

How do you take comfort when unforeseen circumstances get in the way of your plans?

Buttons, Buttons

Rachele of The Nearsighted Owl was nice enough to make me a blog button! Wanna trade? Let me know if you have a button and I'd love to add it to my page. 

<center><a href="http://mittenpaws.blogspot.com/"><img border="0" src="http://i1116.photobucket.com/albums/k568/mittenpaws/mittenpaws212x121.jpg"/></a></center>

PS What will The Real Housewives of New Jersey be like without Danielle Staub? I cannot even fathom, ya' know? 

Casual Spring Stripes

Here is a super laid-back look. I wore this outfit to go grab some Lou Malnati's with Gerry and his friends. If you've never had Lou Malnati's, just know that if you visit Chicago it is an absolute must. People may try to tell you that other forms of deep dish compare, but they don't. They just don't. Yes, Giordano's and Gino's East are good, but Lou Malnati's is the definition of perfect Chicago-style deep dish pizza. Particularly with spinach. =) Trust me on this.

As for the outfit, it's simple and bright. I'm embracing horizontal stripes more-so than I have in the past. The higher-waisted style of jeggings pairs well with a striped top. Jeggings smooth-out the hip area, as opposed to stripes with lower-rise jeans which emphasizes "the muffin top." This factor makes me feel more comfortable in my clothes, and therefore more confident as well.

Sweater LB / Jeggings Avenue / Shoes LaCoste via The Antique Mall (Lawrence, KS) / Shades ATC (Lawrence, KS) / Necklace I think it may have been a gift from Maggie.

PS I still haven't started packing. I move across the country in about two weeks! Do any of you have any advice on packing and purging before a big move? Where do even start? I really, really suck at this. I'm lining myself up for a meltdown.

Primary Colors

Suggested soundtrack - Red, Yellow and Blue by Born Ruffians:


This is the outfit I wore on Mother's Day. Even though primary colors have that kindergarten teacher feel to it, I love the vibrancy of this outfit. I felt very seasonal and ladylike.

We went to brunch (so many brunches lately!), and it was super delicious possibly the best I've been to because of the crab, bacon and mushroom omelette. They also had the best bloody mary garnish Gerry and I had ever seen.

shrimp, cheese, sausage, pickle, handsome bearded man, whoa!

Having said all that, there was an incident with the middle-aged, overworked hostess. We were in a bit of a hurry because my brother and I had to work later in the afternoon. So when we were not sat within 15 minutes of our reservation, my mom grew impatient and asked about it. The hostess gave a short-tempered response, but then another hostess immediately began directing my family toward our table. My mom and dad followed her, but Gerry and I tagged behind. As we were walking away I heard the main hostess talking shit on my mama! On Mother's Day! So I whipped around dramatically and shouted, "I can hear you!" 

The hostess looked stunned and defensively said she was sorry. I shrugged it off, and went to the table. After a minute or two she came over and more sincerely apologized (or more likely apologized out of nervousness for her job). When I told my mom what happened, she was all sorts of pleased with me sticking up for her. Ain't nobody talkin' shit about my mama! They also ended up comping a meal off our bill, which was appreciated. Considering how much shit I talk about customers at my restaurant, I wasn't even mad. I understand the necessity. I understand a hostess deals with all sorts of crap out of her control. It's just common sense that you wait until the annoying customer is out of ear-shot before you rant. DUH! 

The incident definitely didn't interfere with the beautiful day. Afterward, Ger and I took Dixie on a walk to the nearby dandelion-covered field for a quick photo shoot before work.

Cardigan Target / Cami Target / Belt LB / Skirt Old Navy / Slingbacks Target / Shades Target

What am I doing? Probably telling my patient bf how to take pictures even though he doesn't need to hear it. <3

Wristlet Ann Taylor Loft / Necklace Gift from Maggie / Sapphire Ring / Gift from Mom

I love the print on this skirt, and have had it forever, but haven't worn it for roughly a year. It really draws attention to my big belly and lack of "donkey booty" (shout out to those who appreciate this reference), so I don't know if people would necessarily describe it as "flattering," but fuck that noise.

Ah! Gonna miss this pup so much! Love this pic.

Hope everyone had a Happy Mother's Day!

Here's Your Future

Suggested soundtrack:

A great sunny-day, blast-loud- music from your car song. 

This is an outfit I wore the day before Easter. I wore it to have lunch with an old friend who was in town for the weekend from DC. 

At lunch we discussed life and I remember feeling very uncertain. Uncertain about what I wanna be when I grow up, when Gerry and I would move-in together, if Portland would ever happen, and now even though I still have many unanswered questions, I'm feeling certain that things, at very least, are going to be interesting for the next few months. I feel happy.

Cardigan Target / T-Shirt Thrift / Skirt ASOS / Flats Target / Shades ATC (Lawrence, KS)

I really love this skirt, which I'm referring to as my "Beetlejuice skirt". When I saw it on the ASOS website, I immediately wanted it. When I saw how cute it looked on Bronny, I wanted it even more. And I admit, when I saw this Olsen Twin picture, it pushed me over-the-edge, and that's when I ordered it. 

(source)

I love the way the skirt twirls, I think it's pretty easy to dress up and down, I've got several tops in mind to wear with it, and I think it's a new spring staple for me. Even if it makes my hips look big, ya know, my hips ARE big. Revelations... I tell you.

BIG FUCKING NEWS.

WE ARE MOVING TO....

(source)

AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!

After years of dreaming about moving west, it's finally going to happen. Life is full of unexpected surprises, and this is no exception. In a matter of a week Gerry, on a whim, applied for a full-time position in Portland (Hillsboro) with the company he's currently employed, got called back, they spoke with his current managers, and he was offered the position. All within a week. He didn't even interview! It was that easy. I still think it's unbelievable. 

Friday he came over to pick me up for a trip to Minnesota, and I thought to myself, "Wow, he looks really, really happy. He must be really excited about this weekend." We greeted each other as normal, and I started to make us a pre-road trip snack. As I walked by him in the kitchen, he grabbed me by the waist, pulled me in for a hug, and whispered in my ear, "I got the job." His eyes welled up with pride and accomplishment, and I immediately felt the rush of shock, excitement and disbelief. I think I must have asked him 30 times if he was sure, serious and absolutely positive. But it's all true. We're moving at the end of May; packing up our cars and taking a great American road trip together. 

We mapped out a route the night we got back from Minnesota. The picture is kind of shoddy, but here is our tentative plan:

Starting in Chicago we'll travel to:

 Lawrence, KS (to see my college friends, eat at my favorite restaurant of all-time, Free State, and spend the night)

Denver, CO (hang out and stay with my friend, Matt. hopefully have time to explore)

Jackson/ Grand Teton/ Yellowstone, WY (spend a day being tourists)

From Yellowstone, we're taking the scenic route on the Oregon Trail (Route 20) through Idaho and staying in Boise for the night before heading to our new home, PORTLAND! It's going to be such a great adventure together. I've never traveled west of Manhattan, Kansas (except flying into Vegas, which hardly counts). Gerry and I absolutely love road tripping together, and I can't wait to see the west with him. 

The past few days I've basically been hovering on Craigslist, and consulting my maps and travel guides, which I'm sure I'll continue doing until we, hopefully, find somewhere to live. 

After considering winging it and trying to find an apartment in a few days one we get there, I think we've now agreed that finding a sublet is the best option. Since we have never been to Portland, we don't want to rush into a lease without knowledge of the neighborhood. We're hoping that by subletting, we'll have enough time to make a more educated and ideal decision about where to live. Here's what we're looking for:

- Mid-June through July (possibly August)

- Less than $800 a month

- Furnished (we're not bringing any furniture)

- West or not too far East of the Wilamette River

No real luck so far, but I've seen a few listings with most of our requirements, so I'm hopeful that we can find something by the end of the month, if not I guess we're winging it!

Despite having concerns about finding a job, having enough money and blowing my savings account, I'm very optimistic about the future. It seems like the timing couldn't be better. My job has been sucking my soul lately, and putting in a letter of resignation felt so good. 

I've been deeply engrossed in Just Kids by Patti Smith for about two weeks. Its messages about freedom, living on love, and the unique feeling of being young, broke and happy have been resonating loudly for me (I think I'll end up dedicating a post to this book because it's such a beautiful and carefully written auto/biography). 

I'm excited, anxious and curious about making all these changes, memories and experiences with Gerry. This move is inevitably going to bring us closer as a couple, and I'm full of ecstatic-nervous energy about moving in together and relying on each other so heavily. I'm so fortunate and proud to be in a relationship with someone who prioritizes my happiness and parallels it with his own. We've got the kind of love right now for which I used to fantasize and hope. We've got the kind of love I was overly critical and cynical about before I had ever experienced love. I know I'm getting overly sentimental, feel free to roll your eyes if you must, but right now, this is my dream coming true. My Prince Charming got a job, and now we're moving to the location of my dreams. While I'm aware life is never going to be a fairy tale, it has its moments, and it feels amazing to indulge in them. I'm excited and nervous to see what happens next. 

my hero

from this past weekend away