Back on Track

Portland is back in action! We're leaving July 6! Hooray!

I'm elated & thankful & ready.

Well, sorta ready. It's not like I'm all packed up. Far from it.

But Gerry's dad is doing much better, and we feel comfortable leaving, and chasing the dream.

It's been a stressful & trying month.

We got through it by sticking together, and communicating.

We had a pretty epic fight this month.

Fighting with Gerry is interesting because it's more or less a series of endless questions I ask until he can't dodge them anymore, and he has to unload everything on me. 

I think it's how he and I have to fight because of my aggressive personality & his passive one.

A lot of our tension this month regarded our personal character flaws & the roles they played in contributing to our stressful situation.

Heavy shit.

But it does absolutely no good to avoid talking about them.

It does absolutely no good holding grudges against each other for them.

It does absolutely no good being hyper defensive about our individual character flaws.

We air the grievances, have the dramatic moment (never short on tears), and go back to loving each other.***

It feels so good to make it out of a huge fight happily.

We high-fived afterward because we're cool like that.

And then made waffles, and acknowledged the fight would have been much shorter if we had been caffeinated. 

Fights before coffee just ain't fair.

I may or may not seem like it, but I can be quite the basketcase.

I'm glad he can hang.

Also, did you guys know LuAnne of Weesha's World is featuring my Fat Dialogue [In Love] post on her blog? Because she is. She said some really kind things about it, and I'm honored to featured. Thanks, LuAnne!

*** I feel like the gist of this can be summarized by some advice the too-sweet-to-be-real Sydney shared on her blog. It may sound like cheesy, movie-line advice, but "Choose your love, love your choice" is a sound relationship mantra. 

someday soon you will see

Suggested soundtrack: Helplessness Blues by Fleet Foxes

I'm so glad this band is back with another phenomenal album. I've probably listened to this song 20 times the past few days. Gerry loves it too. This folksy-Americana genre is where he and I really see eye-to-eye musically. This is great summer music.

Shirt Torrid / Belt Lane Bryant / Skirt L.L. Bean via Thrift / Espadrilles Target / Clutch Thrift / Necklace Thrift / Bracelet The Grandma Inez Collection / Shades Shwood

I wore this outfit to Gerry's best friend's engagement party.

Look at my neck in that middle pic! I look like an ostrich!

I thrifted this skirt at the beginning of the season. It was an awkward length when I found it, not quite midi or maxi, but my friend Maggie hemmed it up for me. It's also a 3X, and thus way too big on me in the waist, but I kept it that way incase I want to wear it low around my hips. Having a drawstring waist allows for more flexibility. 

Isn't this medallion necklace a cool find? And, look at how much better Gerry is getting at taking detail pictures! He's so funny when he does it. He had to kneel, and make several attempts. He made sure to try to get back at me for being nitpicky about perfection, though. Before standing up he reached in his pocket, fumbling around for a "ring". "A classic joke". I did not fall for his bullshit, but he wants you all to know it was really funny, aka not funny.

I'm completely in love with these espadrilles, and I want more. They're so comfortable and easy. I have problems finding comfortable shoes, and these are amazing. They were $15, and I know that Silhouettes has some solid colored ones available for $25 (available in wide). It's still early in the season, so I may end up purchasing more. 

As promised, here's a closer picture of my new hair color and cut. My cut is nothing that exciting, but the color is a "chocolate-mahogany". I'm pretty pleased, although I think it's a color that looks better when my hair is straight, than when I let it wave and curl.

Lastly, here is a pic of me with my clutch open. I love the trifold interior, and that it comes with a strap for an option. I brought this clutch on my first date with Gerry. <3

On another note, I just wanted to thank everybody for reading. It's been my highest read month since starting mitten paws. I feel lucky to have such thoughtful and sweet readers. Whether it's regarding my style or my personal life, I appreciate the support. Check back soon. I should have a Portland update in the very near future. 

Summer Swallowed Us Whole

Suggested soundtrack - Close to Home by The Get Up Kids

Classic summer anthem from the high school days.

I wore this outfit last week to my baby cousins' baptism. I hadn't planned on blogging it, but we drove by this cute store front for rent and I thought, "why not?" Please note, I awoke before 7 AM on this day. I look tired. Mornings ain't my bag, baby. Gerry and I took a sweet nap once we got home. Also note my shitty rat hair. I was so overdue for a cut. Rest assure, it has happened. I'll probably have Gerry snap some pictures today of my new cut and color. I'm looking less shabby, if I do say.

Cardigan Target / Sundress Avenue / Cami Old Navy / Sandals Lane Bryant / Shades ATC / Necklace Grandma

My aunt, uncle and the babies live just over the Illinois/Wisconsin border. It feels like a whole other world, and I actually love it. After Gerry and I move to Portland, my parents are planning a move as well. My mom just loves those babies, and has a fantasy about working for American Girl, which is right close. I think they'll be happier there. Life is slower and simpler out of the suburbs, and into Wisconsin. I'm a big fan. I'm also a big fan of townie bars, and buy one, get one happy hours. And those accents. And men with facial hair. I think maybe when I'm older I might like to live in an area similar. 

This sundress is from Avenue. I know Nicole is a big advocate of Avenue sundresses, and I'll hop on the band wagon. Sort of. I'm crazy about the fit, length and effortlessness of these, but I wish they had prettier prints. The only one I liked was the one shown in Nicole's OOTD, but it looked terrible on me. They make these sundresses in a ton of prints and several solid colors, I just wish the prints were a little more spirited and less sterile. It's very possible I may purchase other solids though. They're lightweight, easy and affordable. 

I loved the brick and burnt-orange frame of this store front. Have you ever thought about owning a store? I have. For a long time I had a fantasy about owning an independent record store. Lately I've been thinking about how much I'd love to own a resale shop, especially a plus-size resale shop. I get so much joy out of thrifting, and seeing stylish fat ladies. I'm not really sure how you get something like that going. Seems like you would need a pretty radical haul before opening one. 

If you could own your own store, what would it be? 

Fat Dialogue [In Love]

Immediately after taking our shoes off in the doorway, Gerry's hand softly grabbed onto my roll of stomach fat that hangs over my jeans. I guess you can call it a muffin top if you're trying to be cute. Rather than clenching my stomach and turning away, I stepped into it. 

I like when you touch my fat parts.

Good, because I like touching them.

I like touching yours, too.

Despite the elementary language and the inherit triviality, it was a moment that stuck with me. Sometimes I question what I want this blog to be--- is it outfit posts, my life, my love? Yes, yes, and yes. But I also want to make my small contribution to the community in normalizing fat bodies in love. 

I spent so many years questioning what worth my body would have to anyone else. This insecurity was  most strongly present throughout middle and high school (I really identify with the part in The Fat Body (In)visible where Jessica talks about being a class clown because she wasn't allowed to be an object of desire). Because of years of insecurity, I found it hard to accept my body once it did become desirable to some. I remember being terrified to take my shirt off with the lights on in front of a man; not because I didn't want him to see my breasts, but because I did not want him to see my stretch marks. I contribute these feelings both to the newness of the situation, but also to the emotionally-vapid interactions I was having. For awhile I was convinced I would never have an intellectual, emotional and sexual relationship with the same man. But I do now.

I met Gerry at a time when I had been feeling awesome about my body for about 4 months, and I have been feeling awesome about it ever since. I feel like there is this widely held notion that fat people "deal with", "settle" or love each other "in spite of" each other's bodies. On the other side of the coin, there are those who think fat must be associated with fetish. It's bullshit.

I love and appreciate my partner's thick, meaty thighs, his big hands and his hairy, big belly. I won't speak on his behalf other than to say he gives me endless praise about the feel and shape of my body. We never make love with the lights off. We are extremely attracted to each other; clothes on or off. We do not spend time discussing ways to make our bodies smaller, although we do sometimes discuss ways we could make them healthier. Our fat dialogue involves appreciation for the bodies that carry the people we love. 

To see more fat bodies in love, visit: The Museum of Fat Love

A Shot in the Arm

Suggested soundtrack - A Shot in the Arm by Wilco

This is one of my most favoritest summer songs of all-time; so much so that I have written about it before. My last semester in college I was the PR Director for the student-run radio station, KJHK. I (along with plenty of help from my friends) created a few zines based on content created by DJs and other members of the station. I collected short write-ups on DJs' favorite summer songs, and selected "A Shot in the Arm" as my own. Rather than completely re-write my opinion about it, here is what I wrote (with slight modifications): Wilco came to Lawrence mid-May, and really declared summer’s arrival. "A Shot in the Arm" was a definitive highlight of the show. The repetition of vocals that gradually increase in tone pairs perfectly with that summer scene: when you’re in your car with the windows down, the breeze and the sunshine are all around you, and you just want to fucking sing and scream. This song also contains one of my favorite lines, “The ashtray says you’ve been up all night”. Simple, evocative imagery. With twinkly, optimistic Mellotron and stringy synths that both melt and swirl, this song is a small pop masterpiece, from beginning to chaotically beautiful end.

There you have it.

Sunday Gerry and I went to BBQ at my friend Eliana's house. I finally wore the dress I have been fantasizing about wearing since I saw it on the ASOS website. 

Dress ASOS / Wedge Sandals Avenue / Purse Thrift (Iron River, MI) / Sunglasses Shwood / Ring Kane County Flea Market / Bracelets Avenue

This dress is an absolute gem. It did need a little repair though. The straps were spaced on the dress for someone far more broad shouldered than I am, so I asked Maggie to adjust them for me. After that, it was perfect. I was so excited to find matching orange wedges! They ended up giving me the weirdest blisters on my 4th toes (ring toes? what are those called?), but you know, suffer for fashion. 

Gerry and I stopped to take pictures in an old downtown area on the way to the party. It was definitely not an ideal time to take outfit pictures, as the sun was high and searing, but that's the way it works out sometimes. Also, Gerry was uber paranoid about missing the carne asada (like last year) so he was rushing this process along, haha. 

Right before we left my house, I started having insecurities about myself in this outfit-- typical fat girl bullshit thoughts about my arms and pale, chubby legs. Sometimes I find myself thinking, "Yes, this outfit is cute, but am I cute wearing it?" I'm glad I'm at a place where I can (usually) push away the negative body image thoughts, because once I did, I felt like a babe. 

It was the perfect day for grilling and being outside. A spectacular Sunday Funday with my work friends. 

P.S. Are you seeing this matching beautiful Brazilian baby? He was too cute.

Spanakopita!

The other night I made spanakopita (with a little help from my main squeeze) for my family. Spanakopita  (spanakopitas?) are cheesy, spinach-filled, Greek Phyllo pockets. We had a pound of spinach leftover from our going away party so I thought spanakopita would be a delicious dinner option. I had never had it before, but it's as delicious as it sounds. The recipe I used is a bit time-consuming, and I don't think I could have done it without Gerry folding 'em up for me. He is a lot more patient than I am, which is a good quality to have when handling the paper-thin, delicate layers of Phyllo. I halved this recipe, and it was enough for 4 people with leftovers. I served it with roasted bell peppers and quinoa pilaf. It made a great vegetarian meal. 

I documented the meal-making with instagram. Follow me (@mittenpaws) if you don't already, and I'll follow back! I wish my regular camera took pictures with a Nashville filter. 

I have to say I enjoyed saying the the word "spanakopita" on repeat as much as I enjoyed eating it. 

Dream of the 90s with a Little Cornflower Blue

Suggested soundtrack: Never Say Never by that dog.


This is a really cute, punky power pop band from the 90s. Even though their 90s fashion is different than mine, this was the first song I thought of when thinking about a great 90s track to go with this post. Isn't the style in this video great, too? I love the use of violin and Anna's sweet, steady harmonies. Enjoy this lovely song, perfect for a sunny spring day.

I really loved wearing this 90s inspired outfit yesterday. One of the number one desires this Spring was a chambray shirt. I think they are effortless, casual and cute. I had ordered this one from Forever 21+ with high hopes. I find the sizing at Forever 21+ to be inconsistent and problematic. It's like every other place I shop I order a 2X, but there, I always order a 3X. This shirt is an example of inconsistency, as the 3X is way too big and bulky. I procrastinated returning it, and time slipped away from me. Having missed the "return by" date, my solution was to tie this shirt up, a look I am L-O-V-I-N-G. It reminds me of Mariah Carey circa Dreamlover (don't you miss that Mariah?), another awesome 90s example. My belly only slightly peeks through, but as a general style right now, I like the crop top/ exposed upper midriff trend. I think it's such subtle sexiness. (Please excuse my black bike shorts, shown from having my hands in my pockets.)

I also love the volume of the open sleeve in contrast to the cinched waist and open neck. I felt really comfortable; styled, but casual. 

Shirt Forever 21+ / Skirt Thrift / Sandals TJ Maxx / Brooch Gift from Maggie / Sunglasses Shwood / Earrings Forever 21 (million years ago) / "Purse" Thrift

I got this skirt within the past month from where I will officially claim as my favorite thrift store, The Salvation Army in Streamwood, IL (1080 S Barrington Rd.). I always have the best luck there, and I like the way it's organized. Like every other skirt-wearing girl, I freak out with joy when a skirt has pockets. I also got this very 90s wallet/purse. So cute, compact and convenient if you can wittle down your purse to cash, cards and your phone (which barely fit). 

 

This is also the blog debut of my Shwood wayfarer-style sunglasses, handmade in Oregon. I splurged after years of yearning for them, and I'm glad I did. It's about time I spent more than $10 on a pair of sunglasses. These are unique, and really well-made. 

I love the tiny pop of color from this brooch, and I think it's the icing on the cake in terms of completing this look. 

Any trends of the 90s you still love? 

PS If you enjoyed the suggested soundtrack, how 'bout another? I really adore Minneapolis.