Down By the River

When it's sunny in Portland, I swear this city is the best place to live. I can't put my finger on what it is, but it's special. I believe it has to do with the gloomy, overcast winters. When the sun hits, people come out of the woodwork, and I'm not being hyperbolic when I say there is incomparable energy that seems to radiate off everyone. We're all just happy people waiting for the sun to invigorate us once again. I sound like a hippy. 

I'm mid-dinner-making, so I'll just keep it short and sweet. I had a perfect day, and I loved what I was wearing. I thrifted this top yesterday, and it was a steal. Fringe rules. I'm officially on the prowl for a fringe leather crossbody purse, too. 

Top Thrift (American Rag) /  Pants & Bangles Avenue / Sunnies & Flats Target / Purse Thrift

I love the beads, too!

Aaaaand, I gotta include a picture of this cute guy. He got a new shirt yesterday, too. Gerry has lost more than 60 pounds over the past year, and I finally convinced him it was necessary to go shopping. He was swimming in his clothes, and only a man would not seize an opportunity like that to go shopping. I was really proud of him for buying two pairs of jeans, as well. Did you know this man believes one only needs a single pair of jeans? It was nearly a year into our relationship when I convinced him to buy a second pair the first time. Progress. 

I need to check on the bouillabaisse... it's just about time to add the mussels. I modified Ina's chicken recipe, and fingers are crossed that it will be equally as delectable.  We're going to round out the night by watching Young Adult. Happy Sunday to everyone!

Easter Sunday in the City

Considering last night's drama, I'm really glad today was so beautiful. It was the perfect weather for an afternoon downtown. I know I said we weren't going to to go out at all, but we had already made a plan to go out for an Easter Brunch, so that is what we did, and I'm glad!

Bijou Café | Downtown | 132 SW 3rd Avenue | website

fresh baguette with thick, house-made marionberry jam

french omelets. Gerry had asparagus, speck and grueyere.

my omelet had pan-fried oysters, bacon and caramelized onions.

Cardigan Target / Blouse Macy's (American Rag) / Belt & Skirt Thrift / Flats Payless / Sunnies & Purse (Coach) ATC (Lawrence, KS)

After brunch, we wandered down to Waterfront Park to walk along the Willamette.

the Burnside Bridge

the Portland Saturday Market food and entertainment area (on Sunday)

my Easter Bunny (I woke up to a basket this morning)

the Steel Bridge

Hope everyone had a Happy Easter! I'm going to drink wine, eat meatloaf made by Gerry, and relax. Cheers!

I'm Not Hot; I'm Not Pretty.

After a long night of carrying heavy trays topped with pounds of prime rib and loaded baked potatoes, I was ready to go home. The window was dead; most of the servers were cut. I was not. I was irritated. I was ready for my manager to tell me I could leave.
I turned to a male co-worker of mine to commiserate, and he said:

"He only cuts the hot ones. It's because you're not pretty."

I wish badly I could tell you I responded with something direct. I wish I could tell you I retorted back telling him how rude, unnecessary and hurtful his comment was. I wish I could tell you I didn't cry on my drive home. But such is not life.

I did my best to act unaffected. I think I just said "yeah" or some other bullshit thing like that. I immediately sensed that he realized he said something idiotic. He actually came over and put his arm around me, almost as if to say, "We're in this together." I even thought for a second he was going to apologize... but why would he? I basically nodded my head, and agreed with him.

My compliance and silence is why I cried on the way home. I'm so angry with myself for not calling him out. I've already replayed the moment in my head 20 times. How am I, despite all my self-acceptance strides, still this person? I thought I had grown into a confident and secure woman. How could I say nothing? By not correcting and confronting, I'm only playing a role in perpetuating, and for that I'm very disappointed in myself.

It's so easy to come back home and blog about it, but in the moment, I felt incredibly insecure. It reminded me of elementary school. I flashbacked to the moment when I was the little girl feeling sad when the bully yells at me from across the lunchroom that she is fat and ugly.

I said nothing then, too.




*He never made mention of the fact that I am not hot because I'm fat. I acknowledge this is an assumption-- since society decided that long ago.

work hard, relax hard

Another month went by with mostly crickets, I know. March was a month wrapped up in too much of the "work hard, play hard" mentality. Between a college friend's visit and March Madness, last month was filled with overindulgences. It left me feeling a bit unhealthy, tired and stressed. 

St. Patrick's Day

April is going to be dedicated to the philosophy: work hard, relax hard. I'm going to try to balance out last month's damage with one of betterment. Expanding on that thought, after a blogging buddy commented on my New Year's Resolutions post this week, I was reminded of how poorly I'm doing. It's a good month to refocus before all the temptations of summer.

April Goals

1) Save money, seriously this time.

As I've numerously mentioned, I fucking hate my second job. I see no need to put it delicately. I'm quitting by June to have my weekends and sanity back. However, it is April. So my goal is to suck it up, and deal. Make and save as much as possible. I'm not allowed to spend anything higher than a $5 bill when I walk away at the end of a serving shift. I'm great at saving cash when I commit. So I am committing. 

2) Finish the goddamn Suze Orman book

She's got a ton of great advice. At some point I set the book down, but I've been reading it again the past few days. I need to finish it. 

3) No going out

It goes hand-in-hand with saving, but it's still worth noting on its own. Last month was too much monetarily, but also from the I-ate-too-much last month perspective.

4) Get rid of tons of clothes

I hate my wardrobe lately. I noticed my body has changed in the last few months. Smaller waist, bigger hips, same weight. Clothes that used to fit hang or cling weirdly. I also just have too much I never wear. I plan on going through everything. 

5) Print pictures

I haven't done this in roughly a year. I went on a killer vacation. Those memories need to be documented somewhere physically... you know, somewhere other than Facebook and this blog.

6) Finish our bedroom

Do you know Ger & I have procrastinated our headboard-making-project for 8 months? 8 months! We also need to buy hardware for the furniture we painted. 

7) Watch as much TV as desired

To be honest, I don't know what I was thinking making this suggestion in January. I would have never survived March aka Record Breaking Rain Month. I love TV, and so I say let's soak it in for now. Because I'm serious this time; once I quit job #2, The Real Housewives of _________ will be nothing but a memory. Well, at least for the summer. 

8) Craft

I bought these cool vintage California post cards for a quarter at a garage sale last summer. I need to hit up Pintrest, and make something happen on a wall in our guest bedroom. I'm not crafty, though. This may be my biggest challenge. 

9) Try my best to not be stressed

To be honest, I'd like suggestions on this. Working a lot naturally stresses me out.

10) Blog about how well I'm sticking to these goals

I need to hold myself accountable. 

Have you stuck to your New Year's Resolutions? How's Q1 looking for everyone?